


It’s Too Late For Me To Fall For You Now

by LapisLazuli13



Series: My Other X-Nico fictions [3]
Category: Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types, Percy Jackson and the Olympians - Rick Riordan, The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Children of the Big Three (Percy Jackson), Cute Cinnamon Roll Nico di Angelo, Fluff, Implied Nico di Angelo/Percy Jackson - Freeform, Jasico bromance, Jason Grace is a good bro, M/M, Percy will never get over the "not my type" incident, Pre-Nico di Angelo/Will Solace - Freeform, Sort Of Perico I Think, Underwater Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-13
Updated: 2018-06-30
Packaged: 2019-05-21 18:57:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 12,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14921051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LapisLazuli13/pseuds/LapisLazuli13
Summary: When Nico stops to notice Percy’s existence and doesn’t try to find a mop of black hair and a pair of sea green eyes in a crowd of people anymore, the older demigod starts to pay attention to the son of Hades. And Percy likes what he sees, but it’s too late for him to start falling for the other now.…1, Illecebrous.(adj.) alluring, attractive, enticing..2, Zemblanity.(n.) the inevitable discovery of what we would rather not know; the opposite of serendipity..3, La douleur exquise.(n.) the heart-wrenching pain of wanting the affection of someone unattainable.





	1. Illecebrous

**Author's Note:**

> It's just a small break from my usual preferences. I'm not really into Perico, but writing those two is fun.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _**Illecebrous** (adj.) alluring, attractive, enticing._

#  **It’s Too Late For Me To Fall For You Now.**

##  _**1, Illecebrous.** _

_Illecebrous (adj.) alluring, attractive, enticing._

_…_

When Nico told Percy that he was over him and that was just an ideal hero crush, he meant it.

Percy was surprised. He thought about the other’s feeling toward him in so many ways, but it was definitely not _that_ way.

It happened anyway, though. All the crush, the confession, and the rejection. Well, Nico di Angelo was the first one and maybe one of the very few people Percy knew that could turn a confession into a rejection immediately after he just confessed his feeling. Saying Percy was unexpected was still putting it mildly. He was speechless.

And later, he was angry.

What did Nico mean when he said: _“You’re cute, but you’re not my type?”_. What was _his type_ anyway?

Subconsciously, Percy started to pay attention to the younger demigod. It was purely curiosity, he told himself. Percy just wanted to know what’s Nico di Angelo’s type, that’s all.

***

The progress to know Nico’s type involved knowing _Nico_ more, too.

And to be honest, Percy developed a feeling that he liked what he saw.

When he first met Nico, the other was still a ten years old kid. So innocent, so naïve, and yet so annoying. Just at the third or fourth question he asked Percy and the older demigod was more than ready to feed him to the wolves or some monsters instead of hearing one more thing escaped from his mouth.

It was a bubble of guilt burst into Percy’s stomach when he thought about that chatterbox kid. He wasn’t here anymore. The brood, moody and melancholic demigod named Nico di Angelo whose life was destroyed by Percy since he was ten. Too young to have a traumatic life, to lose all of his family and have almost no friends at all. The son of Poseidon was kind of scared when he found out Nico spent more time with the death than the living since he was eleven. The kid did absolutely nothing to deserve that destiny and it happened anyway.

But now… at least Percy could be a little less guilty because Nico had a lot of friends now, another sister, a surrogate sister and also the scariest girl Percy has ever met, a close friend with blond hair and blue eyes and sometimes the son of Jupiter could be annoying and overprotective as hell when it came to a certain son of Hades, but Percy was thankful for it because he felt he didn’t deserve the role of Nico’s big brother as much as Jason.

And a son of Apollo was paying more than just friendly attention to Nico, too. Sandy blond hair, tanned skin, and blue _blue_ **_blue_** eyes – Percy started to wonder what’s that Nico’s type? Blond and blue eyes? Both Jason and Will were more than gifted in the appearance department. Not that Percy envied them because he knew he’s handsome as well, but it was still something he needed to understand.

So why did Annabeth wasn’t Nico’s type? She was blonde. Ah no, her eyes were stormy grey. And well, Nico’s gay, he told himself. _You’re sure an idiot._

No, this was definitely _not_ his subconscious mind saying. It sounded more like Jason or Leo and when the hell these other demigods could be his voice of reason?

That was bad. Percy needed to stop thinking for a while.

***

Nico was growing up.

Percy wasn’t the first one to notice it, but at least half of the camp did a good job of not-so-subtle checking him out, so Percy of course knew it.

And damn, that kid was cute once, but now “cute” wasn’t a suitable word to describe the son of Hades anymore, even though he was still adorable in a somewhat terrifying way.

No, Nico was _attractive_ and _hot_ as hell.

Not Percy’s words, but he secretly agreed with it. Puberty did nothing but favours to Nico. The younger demigod was still shorter than Percy – maybe he hadn’t reached the growth spurt yet, or maybe he was just short – but his features were slowly changing. He lost his baby fat and now his face was more masculine and handsome – and still soft and feminine and beautiful in an angelic way. He had high cheekbones, a defined jawline, and a well-sculptured nose. And don’t let Percy start about his eyes. Those eyes were the most captivating features of the son of Hades. They’re dark chocolate brown, but the brownish black was so deep and piercing and they looked like bottomless abysses that can capture other’s soul.

Percy made his first mistake when he stared at Nico’s eyes for too long, and he felt like he had lost into those eyes.

…

The second mistake happened in Arena.

Nico and Jason were sparring and a crowd of campers gathered around them, watching the match with intense concentration and enthusiastic interest. They were even cheering and shouting something that Percy found suspiciously like _“Take off your shirt, dudes!”_.

Jason did as they wish, and the crowd only cheered louder. Percy whistled, Jason’s body was a statuesque figure crafted by the god or goddess of fitness. His muscles were defined and very eye-catching. He was strong-built and he was almost double Nico’s body size. It was a surprise that the other demigod could keep up their fight that long and sometimes put Jason in a dangerous situation.

Jason counter-attacked the newest scratch on his chest by cornering Nico and tearing his shirt off.

“Hey!” Nico shouted angrily, he wasn’t a fan of public nudity anyway. But for Percy and the other campers’ surprise, his body wasn’t as heavy-built as Jason’s, but it was lithe and swift in movements. It was toned in all right places and the healthy olive complexion was a certain bonus. “You’re so dead, Jason!”

“Make me.” Jason winked at Nico and avoided the swing of his wooden sword. They both agreed to not use their real weapon since Nico’s Stygian Iron sword was deadly dangerous, so the worst injury they could give each other was just a bruise.

Percy didn’t pay much attention to the match anymore. His concentration was focused on Nico’s body, and honestly, Percy really liked what he saw. He wondered if it felt good running his fingers on the other’s skin, touching his strong muscles and biting his neck…

Wait a minute. The neck-biting part was definitely a little bit too far. Percy jolted and he found out he was having the most inappropriate and unexpected boner now. Imagining the way Nico was lying underneath him and moaning with his flustered skin and shirtless and maybe all naked wasn’t doing him any favor at all.

Shit. Percy needed to go back to his Cabin right now or things would be really awkward.

…

After the incident in the Arena, Percy found it’s hard to look straight at Nico’s eyes. And he felt a little bit guilty with Annabeth, but she was still as wonderful as ever and when he told her that he was checking both Jason and Nico out, she just rolled her eyes and called him an idiot, and told him that his sexual awakening maybe a little bit confusing and maybe his sexual tension was something else too, but honestly he couldn’t care that much because he wasn’t a genius like her.

But it didn’t need to be a genius to figure out that he was paying Nico more attention than he should. And that couldn’t end well because Nico did say Percy wasn’t his type and he couldn’t be foolish enough to like him again.

So, what was his type anyway? This was the forgotten original question that Percy was desperately in the need of an answer.

***


	2. Zemblanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _**Zemblanity** (n.) the inevitable discovery of what we would rather not know; the opposite of serendipity._

##  _**Chapter 2: Zemblanity.** _

_Zemblanity (n.) the inevitable discovery of what we would rather not know; the opposite of serendipity._

…

“Percy, what the hell does that even mean?” Jason raised an eyebrow at Percy, and the son of Poseidon shifted uncomfortably on his feet.

“I don’t know. That’s why I ask you.”

“I don’t know either,” Jason scowled. “Why don’t you ask Nico directly?”

“I can’t come to someone who had a crush on me once and ask him what’s his type. It’s really awkward.” Percy explained and Gods, this conversation was starting to be really weird now. It only got worse every second passed.

“So you think that asking his best friend about his type is less awkward?” Jason shook his head unbelievably. “How could you survive and save the world not once but twice anyway, Percy?”

“… You have a point.” Percy sighed. What could he do to get an answer to his question now? Percy would go insane soon enough if he can’t find a way.

…

“Do I like Nico?” Will repeated Percy’s question with an unbelievable expression on his face. “The question should be why do I like Nico, and my answer will be why the heck I don’t, dude.”

“So why?”

“Gods, are you really that dense, Percy?” The son of Apollo rolled his eyes and put down the scissors in his hand. “Nico is strong, he has tremendous powers and a very good control of his skills – except those times that he nearly let himself fade into shadow didn’t count. He is kind and brave – seriously, how can he still be sane after all those shitty things life throws at him? It’s really hard to imagine what he has gone through. If these reasons aren’t enough, so his appearance is a certain bonus. He is attractive, you have to admit it.”

“You’re right.” Percy face-palmed and started to question his choice of asking this son of Apollo.

“Of course I’m damn right. But why did you ask anyway?” Will raised an eyebrow, and Percy wondered should he tell the son of Apollo the truth or not. Being the son of the God of Truth made Will be kind of unable to lie, but did he possess the ability to detect when someone’s lying or not? Percy didn’t want to gamble with his chances.

“I just wonder because recently I pay a little bit too much attention to Nico.” That’s technically not a lie though.

“And you like what you see?” In the blond’s voice had a hint of tease, but Percy didn’t mind it.

“Absolutely yes.”

Will chuckled slightly, his hands were playing with a medical tool. “Dude, it’s a dangerous area of water. You still could drown even if you’re a son of the Sea God. Be careful.”

“Could you be less cryptic, please?”

“My dad is also the God of Prophecies. My words can be very hard to decipher if I want to.”

“Some times your dad makes me feel even more irritated than Jason’s dad.”

“Like father like son, I guess,” Will only shrugged, a wide smile crossed his face. “Remember my words, Percy. It’s a shallow but dangerous area of water.”

…

“My brother’s type?” Hazel repeated his words slowly like she was tasting them. “I don’t know, he didn’t tell me much. I only know you’re not his type. Yes, don’t make that face at me Percy, he told me the story.”

Percy face-palmed so hard that he winced when his forehead hurt. “Why does he need to do that to me?”

“He’s my brother, it’s his obligation to let me know what’s going on in his life,” the curly-haired girl just shrugged, grinning at the son of Poseidon. “But I think that’s not the only reason you Iris Message me for. Spill it out, Jackson, what’s gotten in your mind?”

“I might be pissed off at the fact that I’m not his type, so I pay attention to Nico to know what’s his type exactly,” the black-haired boy sighed. “And damned me, I really like what I see.”

“Well, if this can make you feel better, you can’t be blamed for that,” Hazel said with a reassuring voice. “My brother is attractive, I know.”

“Thanks, but it doesn’t really make me feel better.”

“Things will be fine with time, you know,” Hazel sighed. “Frank calls me, I need to come to see him. Goodbye, Percy. And good luck.”

When Hazel broke their contact, the son of Poseidon sighed heavily. Talking with Hazel helped to improve his mood a little bit, but that’s all. He couldn’t think of another person to talk about his problem now. Annabeth was always a good choice since she’s intelligent and supportive and all, but he guessed asking his girlfriend about that particular problem wasn’t a smart move. Grover was far away now and he’s pretty busy with his job, so Percy didn’t want to bother him.

When his two oldest friends weren’t a choice, Percy started to thought about some newer ones. Hmm, Reyna was obviously not a choice, even though she’s as close to Nico as Hazel was. He wasn’t that close to the female praetor of New Rome, he sort of rejected her once, and she was just naturally intimidating and a little bit overprotective whenever it came to the youngest son of one of the Big Three. No, he can’t and he would never ask Reyna about his Nico-related problem.

Frank wasn’t a choice either, he’s good and kind and like a teddy bear, but he’s in a devoted relationship with Hazel, a girl, and he didn’t seem like the type that he can ask about affection and feelings advice. Bonus the fact that both the son of Mars and the daughter of Bellona were at New Rome – the distance put on a great excuse to not ask them about some non-dangerous and non-threatening problems.

How about Leo? Percy and that son of Hephaestus weren’t that close to talk about boy noticing problems, and Leo’s better with machines than people after all. Piper? She’s the daughter of love and she’s sensitive, she might give him a gold help, and she’s not the gossip type as the rest of her cabin either.

So Percy decided to ask Piper. Let’s hope that she would have some mercy for him to not tease him and not tell his embarrassing little secret to anyone else – even though Percy already did that when he talked with Jason, Will, and Hazel before.

…

Piper only gave him a funny look when he finished his story. Percy was patiently waiting for her to answer, but after two minutes he can’t stand her quiet, mysterious and calculating gaze anymore. “So are you going to tell me what should I do or I should leave now before things get awkward between us?”

“The only awkward relationship you’re having now is with Nico, not me.” Piper finally spoke, her kaleidoscope eyes were glinting with amusement and Percy started to wonder if asking her for advice was really a good decision. “And boy, you’re so dense, even denser than Jason.”

“… I’m positively sure that’s an insult.”

“Duh, whatever you think,” Piper smirked. “The problem is, your sexual awakening is messing with your mind.”

“I’m almost 18 now, isn’t it a little bit too late for my sexual awakening to happen?” Percy questioned curiously. He always thought he liked girls, well, because the first and the only girl he has ever noticed was Annabeth, and… he didn’t have many chances to question his own sexuality when apocalyptic wars and quests and prophecies just happened back-to-back and made his life already a mess.

“There’s no age limit for that thing to happen,” Piper snorted. “My mother’s cabin has tons of stories that related to that and if you want to hear or read them, you’re welcome to our casual gossip night, or I can let you borrow some books.”

“Thanks for the offer, but no, I’m good,” Percy declined before Piper actually had any idea. “Okay, so now I know that’s messing with my mind. What can I do to make it stop?”

“You have to figure out what do you truly want in your life,” Piper smiled, and the son of Poseidon wasn’t sure if she was charmspeaking him at this moment or not. “Sometimes your mind and your body can give you mixed signals and indications. You need to keep a cold head, but a warm heart to look for the thing you desire in this world.”

“You start to sound like Will Solace when I asked for his advice, and that prophecies-alike way of talking is really terrifying.”

“There are always many ways to decipher a prophecy,” the daughter of Aphrodite shrugged. “But there’s only one way to find out your deepest desire.”

“And what’s that?”

“Listen to your heart, Percy,” Piper smiled sweetly. “Your head is for making important decisions in your life, but your heart is for reaching the final purpose of your existence.”

***

Percy’s heart wanted to see Nico more, so his mind told him to make a decision.

“So, Nico, are you free tonight?” Percy asked the younger demigod after he finished his training, looking mildly nervous. The fact that sweat was glistening on Nico’s skin and instead of making him look gross, it actually made him look insanely hot didn’t help to decrease the son of Poseidon’s accelerating heartbeats at all. It’s quite a long time since the last chance he had to feel like he can’t control his breathing and it’s more terrifying than exciting for Percy.

“Maybe yes, I think,” Nico tilted his head slightly to the left side, some stray hair fell down and touched his high cheekbone. Percy resisted the sudden urge to reach his arm toward the black-eyed boy and put them away. “Why do you ask?”

“I… want to make up for all the time I didn’t notice you before,” Percy eloquently replied, then he mentally slapped himself because yeah, that sentence didn’t make him sound like a total jerk at all. “So I’m thinking… a movies night, or a small trip outside the camp, or… do you have any activity that you want to do?”

One of Nico’s eyebrows raised up like he was silently saying, _‘Oh, so we’re having that conversation now?’_ , but thankfully, he didn’t say it out loud. “I don’t have any idea in particular. Movies night sounds better than going outside the camp at night, though.”

“So it’s decided,” Percy grinned. “Your cabin or mine?”

“Whichever is fine,” Nico shrugged, attaching his sword to his belt chain. “Both our cabins have TV and CD player after all. Is 8 P.M. fine for you?”

“Great!” Percy exclaimed. “So I’ll see you in my cabin at 8 tonight, okay?”

“Okay,” Nico nodded, gesturing something at the door. “Now excuse me, I think I need a shower now.”

“Ah, okay,” Percy immediately stepped away to make way for him. “See you later.”

Nico only waved his hand at him before walking away. Percy looked at his back, a strange feeling of anticipation mixed with wary swept over his body, leaving him with a light lingering feeling of uneasiness.

…

Nico materialized inside Percy’s cabin at exact 8 P.M. when he was shuffling through his collection of CDs and Percy cursed out loud when he saw the younger boy, “Oh holy shit! Nico, you scared me!”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean that.”

“You could use the front door instead! At least warning me before you appear like that!” Percy put a hand over his chest, exhaling deeply.

“I’m sorry,” Nico muttered, looking slightly embarrassed. “I’m used to shadow-traveling into Jason’s cabin like that, so I just sort of forgot that you’re not him.”

Percy stopped his action, frowning at that unexpected information. Sure, he knew Nico and Jason were close – even though he still didn’t understand how and when and why, since he obviously knew the youngest demigod years before Jason – but he didn’t know they’re _that_ close: Nico said that he’s used to shadow-traveling right inside the son of Jupiter’s cabin like he did it hundred times before, and somehow that information left Percy with a bitter jealousy in his chest.

Nico might interpret his frown into something else because he hastily said. “I won’t do it next time, I promise. Please don’t be mad at me.”

“No, I’m not mad, just… surprised, I think,” Percy shook his head, ignoring his new feeling and the urge to ask about actually how close Nico and Jason were because seriously, that’s none of his business. “Which movie do you want to see?”

“I don’t know, I don’t watch movies frequently,” Nico looked down at his feet. “Can you choose?”

“I have a Disney collection here. Have you ever watched any of them? Oh wait, do you know what’s a Disney movie? I know you’re born in the 40s so…”

“Gosh, I _do_ know, I’m not that ancient, Percy,” Nico pouted at him, and it felt like a sharp pain just ached in the son of Poseidon’s chest when he actually thought that action was so endearing. “I watched Snow White and Pinocchio before. They were nice, I think, but I don’t know some recent films, haven’t taken a look at them yet.”

“Good, so I have a lot to show you,” Percy grinned, taking out a CD. “The little mermaid, okay?”

“Why am I not surprised about that?” Nico rolled his eyes. “Put it on, I haven’t seen that movie.”

“I saw that four times before, but it’s good and I could do that again without getting bored.”

“Please no spoiler when I’m watching it then,” Nico nodded, gesturing toward the bed. “Your cabin is lack of chairs and proper table. Can I sit on the bed, or do you prefer me on the floor?”

“Just take the bed, what kind of host I am if I let you sit on the floor?” Percy scowled, but he was smiling. “Wait a minute, I made some popcorn in the kitchen, let me grab them.”

“I don’t know, the usual insensitive and idiotic you?” Nico smirked. “Okay, popcorn sounds good.”

“I change my mind, I’ll take all the popcorn because you just insult me and it hurts my feelings.” Percy walked out of his kitchen with a big bowl of popcorn and a grimace on his face.

“Suit yourself,” Nico didn’t react much when he already sat down and looked at the TV screen. He stopped Percy before he could protest. “Hey, the movie starts. Be quiet.”

Percy opened his mouth, then closed it and silently sat next to Nico. Even though he claimed that he would take all the popcorn before, he still handed the bowl to Nico and the younger demigod mumbled a soft “thanks” at that, didn’t take his eyes off the screen.

…

They watched _The Little Mermaid_ together in peace at first. Percy really liked Ariel and Sebastian, and he laughed every time when King Triton appeared on the screen because he knew his brother Triton didn’t look like that at all. Nico gave him a curious look at first but he didn’t ask anything, and Percy smiled at him when a thought crossed his mind that the concentrating face of the younger boy was really adorable.

Percy ignored that at first, but ten minutes later he suddenly found out that he’s watching Nico instead of the movie, and for some reasons, it’s hard to take his eyes off him.

At this moment, Percy knew at least five campers were currently having a crush on the son of Hades, both boys and girls. He actually felt sorry for those girls because they didn’t have a chance to win Nico’s heart at all since he’s gay… or maybe not, what if he’s bisexual? Percy didn’t know, Nico told him that he had a crush on him once so it’s obvious that the raven-haired boy wasn’t straight, but nobody knew much about his preferences, or him in general. Damn, that kid was secretive as hell and it nearly drove Percy up a wall in the past, but they’re on good terms now so he didn’t want to think about it anymore.

Another thing that Percy’s didn’t want to think about was the fact that he seemed can’t stop not-so-subtly staring at the son of Hades, and damn again, he truly liked what he saw. He usually looked at Nico under the sunlight or the campfire, when he’s training or he’s talking with others or doing something on his own, and all those scenes had something in similar: they happened outside and Nico was in the middle of an action. The son of Hades was swift in movement, he had a graceful but deadly aura around him and watching him when he fights was oddly satisfying.

But this image of Nico was new, Percy had never ever seen him in a sort of quiet, unmoving and indoor activity before, and the differences were interesting: Nico was dangerous when he’s doing something, regardless it was training or just walking around camp, with all that death aura lingering around him and the way shadows moved slightly when he’s near them, like they’re ready to respond to his command. But all those stay-away-from-me manners seemed to disappear when he’s sitting quietly and concentrating on a movie like this, he sat still and didn’t look away from the screen, his eyes were slightly widened, the light from the movie reflected in his big, dark obsidian irises like it was dancing. He bit his bottom lips sometimes, mumbling something inaudible once or twice under his breaths in about ten minutes, and he didn’t even blink when something unexpected or interesting happened in the film. Nico looked like a child at his age when he’s acting like that, a cute, adorable and somewhat innocent one, with a slight aura of childish naïveté around him. It kicked start the inner brother inside Percy, and suddenly he wanted to hug the smaller kid and wrap him inside a blanket, feed him sweets and protect him from all the dangers in this world.

For a moment when Nico subconsciously licked his lips with his small pink tongue after eating a piece of popcorn, Percy also wanted to grab his chin and place his lips onto those enticing rose petals and devour the taste of the younger boy. That thought snapped him out of his imagination and Percy violently shook his head in disbelief, didn’t understand what just happened.

“Percy? Are you alright?” Nico’s velvety voice made him startled slightly, and the son of Poseidon silently cursed under his breath when those obsidian bottomless abysses were staring at him with curiosity and concern. “You seem… zoned out.” He grabbed the remote and pressed pause.

“Yeah, I did,” Percy shyly smiled, didn’t dare to look at the younger demigod. “Just lost in thought for a moment. Nothing important, let’s get back to the movie.”

“… Sure.” Nico didn’t look too convinced by his answer, but he didn’t ask further when he pressed the unpause button and started to focus on the movie again.

Percy looked down at the bowl and he’s actually happy when there’s only a little popcorn inside it. “I’ll refill the bowl, don’t need to pause the film to wait for me, just continue.”

“Okay,” Nico nodded, not looking at him when he stood up and walked to the kitchen. Percy heard his voice when he’s waiting for the microwave. “Hey, you wouldn’t mind if I lie down, right?”

“Go ahead.” He shouted out loud and the microwave made a small ‘ding’ at this moment. When Percy refilled the bowl and came back to the bed, he slowly realized that maybe it’s not a very good idea when he agreed with Nico.

The younger demigod was lying on his stomach, his chin placed on top of his hand when his legs were lightly swinging in the air. It’s easier to see all the curves on his body when he’s in that posture and Percy gulped uneasily when he looked at the other’s lean, long legs and surprisingly hairless – to be honest, those legs looked like they belonged to an attractive girl, but Percy knew he should never say it out loud if he didn’t want to piss Nico off.

Another part of Nico’s body that Percy could compare to a girl was his waist. Seriously, that kid was miserably thin in the past, and even though he gained some more weights now, he still looked skinny, like a layer of olive tone skin covered small, lean muscles before it reached his bones. His slender waist looked like it could fit into one of Percy’s arms, and the need to wrap one arm around Nico’s waist to check the idea was so tempting that Percy almost did it without thinking.

He cleared his throat and asked instead. “Nico, how much do you weigh?”

“Huh? Why do you suddenly ask that?” Nico turned his head to look at Percy curiously.

“You look so light as if I could easily lift you up with just one arm.” Percy shrugged nonchalantly.

“I’m not that light,” Nico scrunched his nose, seeming offended. “You can guess, I actually don’t know what’s my weight.”

“Really? I thought Hazel would force you to stand on the scale at least once a week since the first day she started that new diet to make you gain some weights.”

“I don’t care that much,” Nico shook his head, looking back to the screen. “Anyway, if there’s nothing importa–… Hey, what are you doing?!”

In a bold move, Percy slid one arm under Nico’s stomach and wrapped it around his waist, then lifting him up to his shoulder. He grinned victoriously when he found out that kid’s waist actually fit in one arm. “I was right, I barely feel any weight on my shoulder right now.”

“Put me down before I make you regret doing that in the first place,” Nico threatened, but then he gasped loudly when Percy switched the posture and after two seconds, he stood up and carried Nico in bridal style. “Stop that! It’s not fun!”

“I think it is,” Percy smirked, the other looked strangely adorable in his arms like that, blushing a light shade of red and mildly angry. “You’re really cute when I’m holding you like this, do you know that? Like a small kitten.”

“Stop making fun of me!” Nico demanded, but his flustered cheeks didn’t make him look as scary and terrifying as he wanted to be. “I’ll punch you square in the face if you don’t put me down right now!”

“Aww, I’m scared for my life now,” Percy chuckled at the other’s expression, who knew Nico di Angelo was capable of making an irresistible blushing face like this? “What else you will do if I don’t put you down?”

“Perseus Jackson, I swear to the gods–” Nico stopped abruptly when Percy jokingly loosened his arms around his upper body, and he quickly threw his own arms around the older’s shoulders to keep him from falling down. “Don’t do that!”

“I thought you want me to put you down, so why are you grabbing my shoulder like that?” Percy shook his head in a mocking manner, grinning widely. “Little kitten is giving me mixed signals, isn’t he?”

Nico glared at Percy and smacked him hard at the back of his head. “You idiot, release me!”

The hit was hurt more than Percy expected and he jumped up at that, losing his balance when his feet touched the floor again and ended up falling on his bed with Nico underneath his body.

“Ouch, it hurt!” He winced and closed his eyes, reaching one hand to touch the back of his head. Damn, the kid was strong.

“You did it to yourself,” Nico hissed next to his ear, and Percy gasped when the hot breath touched his skin. “Let go of me, you’re heavy, I don’t want to be crushed by your weight.”

“You did it to yourself,” he repeated what Nico just said in a teasing voice. “Endure it for a while, I won’t get up soon, my head hurts and I blame it on you.”

“I’m seriously not kidding you, Percy. You’re heavy.” Nico angrily replied and Percy opened his eyes, slightly lifted his head up and tilted it to the left side to look at the smaller demigod underneath him.

Apparently, it wasn’t a wise move.

Percy’s breath hitched when he realized their noses were just one inch apart, Nico’s captivating brownish black eyes were staring at him intensely, his face was still having a faint shade of red, his hair was disheveled and pointed in all direction, those wavy curls looked so soft, and the son of Poseidon found himself really wanted to run his fingers through the other’s hair right now.

Nico bit his bottom lips subconsciously, and Percy thought that kissing him at this moment was even a better choice, and it was so tempting that he didn’t realize he was leaning down until Nico’s slightly scared voice snapped him back to reality. “Percy, what… what are you doing?!”

He froze mid-action and really wanted to slap himself. What was he thinking?! He hastily sat up and got away from Nico, silently cursing under his breath. His heart was beating like crazy in his chest and Annabeth’s smile made him feel so embarrassed and guilty.

“… Are you alright?” Nico cautiously asked, putting a hand on Percy’s shoulder. He sounded concerned, but still mildly nervous. “You’re tired, right? I think you should get some rest, we could continue our movie night sometime later.”

“… Sure, I think it’s better,” Percy was disappointed when Nico said that, but in a second thought, it might be actually better for his mental state right now. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“It’s fine,” Nico shook his head, offering Percy a faint smile, and the older demigod felt both tempting to kiss him and guilty to think like that. “Don’t think about that too much, I’m sure it’s just because you’re exhausted.”

“I am,” he admitted. He’s so exhausted with all his thoughts about touching and hugging and kissing the younger boy right now and he wanted to take a break from exploring his confusing stage of sexual awakening. “I’ll make it up for another night, I promise.”

“You don’t need to,” Nico withdrew his hand from Percy’s shoulder, standing up and looking for a shadow inside the room. “Wash your face, brush your teeth and get a long sleep. You’ll be fine next morning. Goodnight, Percy.”

“Goodnight, Nico.” Percy nodded and the figure of the younger boy started to disappear with the shadow.

Percy sighed heavily when he’s left alone in his cabin. He buried his face in his hands, then massaging his temples. That was bad. He almost kissed Nico if the other didn’t stop him and he almost cheated on Annabeth with all his actions this night. Or he might already cheat on her just by thinking about those things.

_It was really, really bad._

Percy thought he might need to avoid Nico for a while, to clear his mind and think straight.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Next chapter:** _The universe was against Percy’s plan to avoid Nico since it hadn’t started._


	3. La douleur exquise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _**La douleur exquise** (n.) the heart-wrenching pain of wanting the affection of someone unattainable._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, things got a little bit out of hand and this chapter is longer than I planned. Whoops.
> 
> Anyway, I hope that you enjoy it!

##  _**3, La douleur exquise.** _

**_La douleur exquise_ ** _(n.) the heart-wrenching pain of wanting the affection of someone unattainable._

…

The universe was against Percy’s plan to avoid Nico since it hadn’t started.

“So you say…” the son of Poseidon sighed heavily when they reached the beach. “What’s so important that one of our older and presumably dead demigods decided to hide it inside a cave that under the sea level?”

“Who knows,” Nico shrugged, breathing out when the breeze wind from the sea ghostly touched his skin. “But that requires your water-controlling skills after all. The question is why did Chiron want me to come with you?”

“Because that’s a cave,” Percy replied bluntly. “Earthy stuff and the underground are your territories. Besides, two are better and safer than one. We can have each other’s back if any monster comes near us.”

“But three is an ideal number for a quest.”

“We didn’t have any prophecy when we assigned for this quest,” the sea green-eyed demigod shook his head. “And I prefer to keep it this way, I have enough prophecies for my entire life. But if you really don’t want to come with me…”

“That’s not the case,” Nico chuckled, and Percy tried to not think that the sound he made was like a melody to his ears. “I just think if we’re not in a hurry to leave, I could invite Jason to come with us. His ability to manipulative wind and air is pretty useful too.”

Suddenly Percy’s mood was soured when he realized Nico wanted to hang out and do quests with the son of Jupiter more than with him, even though that’s just his own assumption because the other demigod didn’t say it at all.

A seagull just flew over their heads. Percy looked up at the sky, joking to lighten his own mood. “Yeah, and if he could talk to some flying creatures for more information about our quest, I’ll appreciate it.”

“Actually you have an interesting idea,” Nico turned his head and smiled at the older demigod. “Before we actually go down there, I could summon some ghosts and ask if they know anything about that cave. We need more information, Chiron just gave us the minimal details.”

“Sounds reasonable,” Percy hummed, looking away to hide his faint blush. It’s rare for Nico to smile directly at him, and the son of Poseidon didn’t want to acknowledge what was the strange feeling stirring inside his stomach. “So let’s do it.”

 

It took them ten minutes to find a small store that sold ice-cream and food, so Nico bought some chips and fried octopus to use for his summoning ritual when Percy decided to take two ice cream cones.

“Have you ever tried to summon a ghost with ice cream?” He curiously asked and Nico looked at him like he’s an idiot. He’s too familiar with that kind of look – Annabeth gave it to him on a daily basis.

Thinking of her made a sharp fang of guilt sting in his chest. That happened more frequently these days and as usual, Percy ignored it.

“No,” the son of Hades still answered him, the corner of his mouth raised in a small smirk. “Haven’t thought about it, but I’ll try on a different day. Five more minutes I’ll need that ice cream, and don’t you dare finish mine without my permission.”

“Good, but you’d better be quick because it’s going to melt on my hand and I don’t like that at all.”

“Don’t worry, I won’t waste some delicious ice cream like that.” Nico blinked before finishing his summoning circle and starting to chant something in Ancient Greek. Percy can catch some of the lines, but he doubted that even if he memorized all the words, it’s still useless because he didn’t have any Underworld powers.

The chanting was short, and only one minute later or less, a ghost appeared, glowing eerily in a faint shade of greenish blue. Normally Percy liked all the shades of blue, but he’s sure he didn’t find the glowing aura of the ghost was appealing to his eyes at all.

Nico asked the ghost some questions, and Percy occasionally chimed in his own thoughts. The ghost answered all of them, and Nico thanked him before telling him he could come back to rest in the Underworld.

“Well, we’re lucky that the first one I summoned is quite informative,” Nico grinned. “I prepared enough food for three rituals, but I guess we could devour them now instead.”

“Before we eat the food that originally belongs to your ghosts, I demand you to eat your ice cream,” Percy extended the arm which was holding Nico’s ice cream cone. “It’s melting, and I told you I don’t like that.”

“Thanks,” Nico nodded at him and took his ice cream, starting to eat the melted part. “Mmm, it’s tasty.”

The son of Poseidon looked at some drops on his hand after the cone’s gone, grimacing slightly. “You told me you don’t waste the delicious ice cream, but see what you did.”

“It’s hot today,” Nico shrugged nonchalantly, licking the ice cream with his small pink tongue. “It’s just some small drops, Percy.”

“I blame you for that. Do something about it.”

“Hey, you just need to find a source of water and wash them off, or summoning some water already, you can control that element after all.” Nico glanced at him, his eyes had a glint of irritation. “What do you expect me to do, exactly?”

“I don’t know, if you really don’t want to waste any of that, shouldn’t you lick them off of my hand?”

Right after those words got out of Percy’s mouth, he immediately knew the joke’s gone too far. Judging by Nico’s shocked expression, he didn’t appreciate it at all.

“Well, I didn’t mean it literally…” Percy trailed off, it’s clearly not the right thing to say. “I’m sorry, the joke didn’t sound that eerie in my mind.”

“… I’m honestly surprised that you even thought before saying it out loud, but you still did.” Nico replied after five stunned seconds of silence. “Whatever you meant it or not, could we forget what happened in the last two minutes and never talk about it again?”

“Agree,” Percy breathed out, he’s glad that the younger boy wasn’t too horrified about the awkward situation. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Let’s not talk about it.” Nico nodded, focusing on his ice cream and avoiding Percy’s eyes while they’re walking toward the beach.

The older demigod not-so-subtly cast some glances at the black-eyed boy, trying to not think about his poor cringe joke anymore. Apparently, it’s a hard task to do when Nico’s continuously eating his ice cream _like that_. Seriously, who taught him that way to use his tongue? And lips? _And why the hell you’re closing your eyes while eating ice cream cone, Nico?! Please tell me my mind’s not as dirty as I think it is now!_

Lucky for Percy’s sake, Nico quickly finished his ice cream, and the son of Poseidon let out a relieved sigh that he didn’t know he was holding. The younger boy gave him a quizzical glance, but Percy ignored that. They’re standing in front of the sea, and the soothing breeze of winds and the gentle waves of water crashing next to their feet were so relaxing for Percy. “So what shall we do now?”

“Go down there,” Nico waved his hand at the sea, didn’t look too willing. “Not my favourite place – no offense, Percy – but that’s your territory. You’re in charge.”

“I have no problem with that, but… couldn’t you just shadow-travel us there?” Percy questioned. For all he knew, the boy’s special power of bending the shadows to make them take him almost everywhere he wanted was truly convenient.

“It’s too dangerous since it’s a cave underwater, and I don’t have any idea what does it look like, or where exactly it is,” Nico shook his head, looking almost apologetic. “It’s safer for both of us if you lead the way.”

“Alright, I got it.” Percy nodded, extending one of his arms. “Hold on tight, I don’t want us to be separated under the water, it’s fine for me but dangerous for you.”

Nico hesitated for a moment before taking Percy’s hand, and the older demigod tried to not be hurt by his action. The son of Hades breathed out, seeming mildly nervous but determined. “Let’s go.”

And they both lurched forward to let the water embrace their bodies, making the short trip begin.

…

The first thought in Percy’s mind was _Oh my god, I love this feeling so much that I didn’t realize how much I missed it until now._

The ocean always felt like home to Percy. It’s a nice combination of all the things he liked: the sea, the blue water and the blue sky on a bright sunny day, the cool winds, the soothing sounds of waves crashing on shores, hitting the sand and embracing everything inside. He’s always fascinated by the coral reefs in his father’s realm, and talking sea creatures with some water nymphs are always good companies to him. Percy closed his eyes and let all the good memories filled his mind for a moment, smiling nostalgically at that.

 _‘I’m glad that you’re enjoying yourself, but please don’t forget that next to you is a child of the Underworld with 75% of chance to die in here and that’s continuing to increase because your father isn’t too fond of him, or any other child of his brothers at all.’_ Nico voice suddenly echoed inside his mind and Percy abruptly stopped dead in his tracks, opening his eyes to look at the other boy, only to find the younger demigod was staring at him, still seeming slightly uncomfortable and wary.

“Why can I hear your voice inside my head?” He asked, trying to convince himself that was just a moment of wild imagination, not some strange kind of communication without making a sound.

 _‘Well, because it’s telepathy,’_ Nico shrugged, confirming his thought. _‘Don’t need to look that shocked and horrified, this only lasts for one hour since the moment we touched the water. Chiron gave us two pills to take before telling us to go, remember? It also helps me to breathe underwater, too.’_

Percy recalled the moment in his mind and he vaguely remembered something like that. He didn’t know what exactly those pills could do at that moment, but it seemed to be clear now. A magical pill that gave the users one-hour limited of telepathic power, what an interesting thing. Annabeth would love to learn about how those pills work. He’s certain that’s mostly magic after all.

“I can talk and breathe under the water as normally as I do in the air so I don’t really think I need one though,” Percy shrugged, and immediately found himself at the receiving end of the _all-too-familiar-look you’re-a-certificated-idiot-Percy_ that Nico was giving him now. “What?”

 _‘For the breathing part, you might don’t need to, but I do. And we have to find a way to communicate without risking my life by opening my mouth underwater,’_ he sounded irritated, even though technically it was just his thoughts in Percy’s mind. _‘And because we only have about fifty-five minutes left, we should start our quest now.’_

“Okay, you’re right,” the older demigod nodded. “And I’ll need you to help me, I could navigate fairly well underwater, but your earthy sense helps to confirm which case we need to find.”

 _‘That’s why we’re both assigned for that quest,’_ Nico shook his head, but he was smiling for the first time he’s here. _‘Let’s start.’_

…

It took them twenty minutes to find where exactly the cave was. Percy held Nico’s hand tightly with his own hand, leading the way with the help of his underwater skills, occasionally stopped to ask a fish or a water nymph, but most of them couldn’t help much. It’s only when Nico abruptly jerked his arm and pointed at a direction with a determined look that made Percy question. “What?”

_‘Magic. I could sense a pretty strong source of magic and some other stuff that’s related to our godly aspects from there. Let’s go there.’_

Percy only needed five minutes to get them there with some tricks of his water-controlling skills. When they came closer, he realized Nico’s right, that’s a pretty powerful source of magic. He wondered what could be there, behind those closed doors of the cave…

Oh right, that’s quite a problem.

“The cave is behind that door. Do you have any idea how to open it?” He asked Nico hopefully, trying to force himself to not stare at Nico’s face. Under the dim, poor quality of sunlight passed through the sea surface and layers of water, his facial features seemed blurred than usual, with a sort of unreal, ethereal beauty – everything was strangely aesthetic, from the way his eyes looked glassy and bigger than normal with the dark chocolate brown irises were tinted with flickers of gold, to the softer skin with a faint glow of white-ish blue, and the way his long curls were swirling around his face like a halo right now. Nico looked even more beautiful and captivating than normal, and Percy wasn’t sure it was the water or his brain that’s playing that trick to his mind now.

 _‘I’ll need a moment,’_ Nico’s voice echoed inside his mind, but he’s already swimming forward to get close to the big stone. _‘Hey, come with me and try to find something strange or unusual about this. Every door has a way to open after all.’_

Percy wordlessly followed suit, wondering for a moment if Nico could read his thoughts with their new telepathic connection or not. He felt uneasy with the possibility that the son of Hades could because his mind was a private place that stored a lot of things he didn’t want the other or anyone else to find out at all.

_‘I need you to be quiet, Percy.’_

“… But I didn’t say anything?” He questioned, seeming confused.

 _‘Well, stop thinking so loudly could be a good help.’_ Nico shrugged, and a sudden realization dawned on Percy like a wrecking ball coming for his head.

“Wait, does that mean you can read my thoughts?!” He asked with horror, that’s the last thing he wanted right now.

 _‘Not really, I just can feel when you’re thinking so hard and when you’re not, but that’s still pretty annoying,’_ Nico replied him, and Percy let out a string of bubbles that was a relieved sigh. _‘For the record, you actually think more than I thought you’re capable of.’_

“Hey!” The son of Poseidon protested, sounding mildly offended.

_‘Quiet.’_

Percy opened his mouth, then closed it, deciding to be quiet for a moment, their quest was still the top priority after all. He also needed to clear his mind and think of _not thinking_ anything at all, which was a harder task than it sounded.

 _‘Alright, I think I figure it out,’_ Nico’s voice rang in Percy’s head again, and the son of Poseidon swam to his direction, examining the… well, nothingness in front of his eyes. _‘Do you see this?’_

“What exactly do I need to see anyway?” He questioned confusingly. Nico gave him that _Percy-you’re-an-idiot_ look again, but he didn’t bother to feel insulted anymore.

 _‘A hidden entrance,’_ Nico sounded like he just clicked his tongue annoyedly. _‘Based on the aura of magic around it, it demands some sacrifice to open.’_

“I really dislike the sound of that word,” Percy grimaced. “Sacrifice.”

 _‘Believe me, I feel the same,’_ Nico shrugged. _‘I wonder…’_

And then in front of Percy’s horrified eyes, Nico drew his sword and sliced his left palm.

“What the hell are you doing?!” Percy almost screamed when drops of blood were floating in the water. Nico put his hand against the stone door, closing his eyes and concentrating.

_‘Just testing my hypothesis.’_

“What the heck does that even mean?!”

 _‘Shhh…’_ Nico opened his eyes, and the stone in front of them started to glow in an eerie light, shifting slowly to reveal an actual entrance. _‘I was right.’_

“If the main door needs blood to open, I really don’t want to explore whatever thing is inside it.” Percy sighed when the door finally wide opened, a big cave was in front of them.

 _‘We have only half an hour left. Better be quick.’_ Nico didn’t reply him, already swimming forward. _‘And it’s not like blood was the only answer. The magic that locked the door accepts any precious thing: pearls, gemstones, and some living essences all work pretty well.’_

“So why didn’t you find something else instead of cutting open your flesh like that?” Percy really wanted to curse out loud, that boy’s self-preservation level was still alarmingly low as usual.

 _‘It’s quicker,’_ Nico simply replied. _‘We don’t have much time to waste anyway.’_

“It’s dangerous!”

 _‘I’m still alive.’_ Nico seemed annoyed, which didn’t make any sense to Percy because he’s the person who had all the rights to be angry in this situation. _‘And the cut stopped bleeding already. I’m fine.’_

“That’s not the point–” Percy groaned, but Nico suddenly cut him off with a hand clapped over his mouth. Percy glared at him, but the son of Hades frowned, shaking his head.

_‘Be quiet. I think I hear something.’_

Percy nodded, using his hand to take Nico’s hand away from his mouth. _‘Why I don’t hear anything?’_

Nico quietly stared at him, and Percy needed twenty seconds to realize what he just did. _‘Oh, did I… talk to you by telepathy?’_

 _‘Indeed you are,’_ Nico nodded silently. _‘I prefer to keep our conversation that way from this moment. We need to be quiet and careful.’_

 _‘I could work with that.’_ Percy agreed, even though he was hoping that only the thoughts he wanted the other to hear could be sent, and his other thoughts were safe at the back of his mind.

…

The sounds Nico heard was just a Kraken.

Scratch that. Who was Percy kidding anyway? It was a frigging Kraken for god’s sake! If Nico’s instincts weren’t that good and his movements weren’t that quick, they would have ended up inside its stomach at this moment already.

“Ok, I officially hate that demigod right now, whoever the fuck he was!” Percy frustratedly yelled while thrusting Riptide forward, then quickly using the water to push him away to avoid the Kraken’s tentacle. “What the heck he wanted to hide away from the rest of this world so much that he created a blood-sacrificing hidden entrance and put a goddamn Kraken inside to protect it?!”

 _‘Percy, I really don’t think screaming could do us any favour,’_ Nico’s voice sounded urgent inside his head. _‘Lower your voice, you might lead some other monsters to come here and we definitely don’t need that at all.’_

“You think I fucking care that much?!” Percy cried out loud, Riptide made a deafening sound when he missed the Kraken’s tentacle and clashed it with a stone column. “We’ll be dead before any monster could come here if we can’t defeat that Kraken!”

 _‘Don’t be so pessimistic, it’s just a Kraken,’_ Nico’s voice was irritated. _‘With all the suicidal quests you did before, you can’t be killed by a single monster underwater like that. And my father will disown me if I die in Poseidon’s realm, so I can’t afford to let it happen.’_

With that sentence, Nico threw his sword at the monster before swimming down at a fast speed. The Kraken used one of its tentacles to capture the sword easily, but it immediately released the object like that sword was burning its flesh.

_‘Percy, I need you to distract it!’_

“But how?!” Percy roared, and maybe screaming was actually a good way to catch a monster’s attention. The Kraken’s eyes were following Percy, and the son of Poseidon provoked it some more by successfully cut a wide wound on one of its tentacles. He prayed whichever plan Nico had could work, because he’s so _not_ willing to be some food for a Kraken in two more minutes.

The Stygian Iron sword fell down pretty quickly into Nico’s hand, and even with the distance, Percy still can recognize the victorious, deadly dangerous smirk was dancing on his lips. _‘Gotcha.’_

He thrust his sword into the ground, and eight enormous columns shot up, circling around the Kraken and bunching up at one point above its body, effectively trapping it inside.

Nico moved upward, and when he’s at the same level with a pair of two eyes which each one had the size of three basketballs combined together, he flinched his wrist in a graceful movement, and the ground rumbled to respond to his command, dragging the cage of the Kraken down and swallowing it inside the ground.

Shivers actually ran down Percy’s spine at that impressive sight. Watching Nico fights always had that effect on him, or pretty almost everyone else – Percy knew he’s a powerful demigod too, but there’s something lethal, deadly in the way the son of Hades fights, from his insane wide range of powers to his recklessness, from the silent, quiet movements as some shadows slowly wrapping around the enemy before dealing the fatal blow to the dangerous but captivating smirk that form by just a little rising of the corner of his mouth. Watching Nico fights just once, and you will never forget how powerful the death is. At the end of the day, death always wins.

 _‘I think you could stop your imitation of a goldfish by now,’_ Nico’s voice echoed inside Percy’s head, effectively snapping him out of his train of thoughts. _‘The Kraken’s gone, presumably and hopefully to Tartarus and can’t bother us for a while. We did it, Percy.’_

The son of Poseidon swam closer to Nico, shaking his head. “No, you did it.”

_‘Take some credits, Percy. You helped a lot. Without the distraction you provided to that monster, I might not have enough time to prepare my trick.’_

“Which is pretty impressive, by the way,” Percy chuckled. “Seriously, I didn’t know you could control such a huge amount of ground and stones like that before. It’s insane, Nico! Your powers are terrifying sometimes.”

 _‘Said the guy that can summon enormous whirlpools and control almost every body of water,’_ Nico smiled, and Percy’s traitorous little heart skipped a beat again. _‘Do you know your father could control the ground too? He’s called ‘The Earth Shaker’ for reasons.’_

“Why I didn’t receive any of that power?” Percy muttered.

 _‘That could make you be too powerful and become a threat to the Gods,’_ Nico shook his head. _‘You’re good enough this way, Percy. You don’t need to change.’_

“Thank you, Nico.” Percy smiled at him genuinely, and the son of Hades nodded.

 _‘The Kraken made us waste almost twenty minutes,’_ Nico sounded like he’s groaning irritatedly. _‘Damn, we only have less than fifteen minutes left!’_

“Hopefully not running into any monster again.” Percy sighed.

 _‘Maybe you should switch to telepathy for the rest of that quest,’_ Nico glanced at Percy, then he surprised the older demigod by extending his hand toward him. _‘Let’s go.’_

 _‘If you insist.’_ Percy ignored the accelerating heartbeats and took Nico’s hand, leading them to go further inside the cave.

…

_‘Not. Again.’_

Even they’re communicating by telepathy, Percy still could tell Nico’s pretty annoyed by now. _‘What’s wrong?’_

_‘The word we both hate. Sacrifice.’_

Percy screamed internally. _‘What the hell was going inside that demigod’s mind, really? Was he insane?’_

 _‘80% chance that the answer is yes,’_ Nico dryly replied. _‘Do you recognize this symbol?’_

Percy observed the symbol Nico’s finger pointed at. It was a simple one, carving onto a smaller stone that placed over a big stone that looked like another door. Percy honestly didn’t want to open that door at all.

The symbol looked like a flower. It’s familiar, but Percy can’t remember when did he see that. He shook his head defeatedly, _‘I don’t know this one.’_

 _‘If I’m not wrong, it’s the Fleur de Lys,’_ Nico bit the bottom of his lip, chewing on it slightly. _‘And that word, ‘La douleur exquise’. All those information scream out loud French, which is pretty odd since that demigod’s certainly American.’_

 _‘What does that mean?’_ Percy asked. _‘Those words, I mean. I kinda wish Piper was here. She can speak French.’_

 _‘Guess it’s easier if we had her here, she can explain a lot since that phrase falls into her mother’s domain.’_ Nico sighed. _‘La douleur exquise, simply translated to “the heart-wrenching pain of wanting the affection of someone unattainable”.’_

Percy’s heart ached slightly at that. _‘How do you know?’_

 _‘I can speak a little bit French.’_ Nico blinked.

 _‘Is there anything you don’t know?’_ Percy questioned, surprised that he didn’t surprise at all when Nico said that he could speak French.

 _‘I don’t know a lot of things, I’m not a walking encyclopedia,’_ Nico’s voice lowered a little bit like a whisper. _‘Like, how to open this door for example.’_

 _‘We still have some more words here,’_ Percy pointed at a small paragraph under the Fleur de Lys symbol. _‘Can you read that?’_

 _‘I can, but I don’t understand,’_ Nico shook his head. _‘It read “Give me your la douleur exquise, and I shall grant you the knowledge of your deepest desire, which is hidden behind this door.”. What does that even make sense?’_

Percy’s heart jumped to his throat. _‘Knowledge of your deepest desire?’_

_‘I don’t know, my deepest desire is hiding behind that door? Pretty sure an alive Bianca isn’t there.’_

His words were bitter and melancholic, and Percy’s heart now dropped down to his stomach. _‘Any other way to decipher those words?’_

 _‘Where the hell we can find some la douleur exquise, anyway?’_ Nico sighed, sounding tired. _‘Guess that I need to try.’_

Percy only had enough time to use his hand to grab Nico’s sword before he cut himself again, but the son of Poseidon grimaced and immediately loosened his grip, the cold black metal felt like it was sucking the life out of him.

 _‘Damn it, Percy, next time warn me before you do something utterly stupid like that!’_ Nico’s voice sounded urgent and worry. _‘My sword is dangerous for both monsters and human! Are you alright?!’_

 _‘Fine, just a little bit dizzy, I guess,’_ Percy weakly smiled, looking down at his palm. _‘And bleeding a little bit.’_

_‘Shit, I’m sorry!’_

_“Okay, it’s not your fault,’_ the son of Poseidon shook his head, switching to a more serious tone. _‘What were you doing?’_

_‘Testing another hypothesis.’_

Percy scowled, _‘I already told you–’_

 _‘We only have five more minutes, we can’t afford to lose time!’_ Nico cried, putting his hand on the Fleur de Lys. _‘A try couldn’t hurt!’_

_‘You’re bleeding!’_

_‘So are you!’_ The son of Hades shouted back, and Percy grimaced with the sound inside his head. _‘Damn, this time it doesn’t work!’_

 _‘You can’t make the same trick twice, that’s boring,’_ Percy sighed, taking Nico’s hand away and putting his hand over the symbol to replace. _‘Like you said, a try couldn’t hurt.’_

 _‘If my blood can’t work, there’s no reason…’_ Nico trailed off when a clicking sound echoed the space. _‘Okay, it works, even though I don’t understand why.’_

 _‘Maybe it likes my blood better.’_ Percy joked.

 _‘Or maybe it needs more than one source of blood,’_ Nico shook his head. _‘Or another explanation is it needs time to activate. I don’t know, and I couldn’t care less. Whatever is behind that door, it’d better be the thing we need to find because I’m so done with that quest.’_

The son of Poseidon totally agreed with him, even though a thought was nagging at the back of his head, saying that his blood made the system work because he had some “la douleur exquise” inside him, and the object of his affection is nobody else but Nico di Angelo.

Percy’s so done with not only this quest but also his life too.

The unlocked door led them to a small space inside, which had nothing but just a simple chest.

Nico didn’t bother to think twice, already using his sword to break the chest in two halves.

They fell into a silence after that. Percy hesitated a second before voicing his opinion out loud. “ _That_ ’s **_all_**?”

They were looking at the only item inside the chest that Nico’s sword luckily didn’t do it any harm. It was a medium size scroll, the yellowish-white paper seemed to be waterproof, binding by a red thread of velvet.

 _‘Guess so,’_ Nico rolled his eyes, picking the scroll up. _‘We went all the way to the ocean to five an underwater cave, fighting with a frigging Kraken and draining our strengths by some cuts to draw sacrificing blood for a scroll. The typical irony in demigods’ life.’_

“This scroll better contains pretty important information, because I’ll burn it into ashes if it doesn’t.”

 _‘Suir yourself, you could do it after we hand it to Chiron and he says there’s nothing important,’_ Nico snorted. _‘If that’s true, I’ll find out whoever that jerk was, hunting down and summoning him, giving him a zombie body to spar with me, killing him, then resurrecting him to kill him again.’_

Percy made a mental note to never piss off Nico di Angelo. You’ll never have a peaceful life again if you anger him, there’s no rest in peace even if you’re already dead.

…

Nico wanted to shadow-travel back to the beach, but Percy disagreed with him by pointing out he’s as white as chalk and looked like half-dead already. Nico might hide his pain well, but there’s no way Percy didn’t realize how much his powers drained him. The fight was impressive for him and also exhausting for Nico, it’s not an easy task to summon that many columns at once. Percy will sure find a way to force him to decrease his level of recklessness, even if he has to talk his ear off.

Nico begrudgingly let Percy hold him by wrapping an arm around his waist to help him swim. They needed to make it to the surface as quickly as possible because the effective time of the pill was only one-hour and they seemed to reach that limit already.

If there’s only Percy, he wouldn’t care much about time-limit when he’s under the water – he can’t drown to death or have trouble breathing after all. But Nico seemed to get worse after every second passing by, and Percy soon realized he couldn’t breathe now.

“Shit, Nico, the pill is not effective anymore?!”

Nico weakly nodded at him, looked paler than one minute before. He closed his eyes, and the sickly white skin made Percy worry as hell. “Hey, don’t close your eyes! Look at me!”

Nico didn’t reply to him, and Percy’s heart stopped a beat. He didn’t know how long can Nico endure without air – he survived almost a week inside a jar after all, so his endurance level must be pretty high – but Percy can’t let the younger demigod die because lacking oxygen when they’re on a quest together in his father’s realm! Percy had all his powers at their strongest level when he’s in the sea, so screw his whole life if he couldn’t do anything for Nico!

 _I must find a way to give him some air to breathe_ , Percy thought, and he actually had a way, but he’s sure if Nico knows what he’s gonna do, he would bite his head off.

_If only he’s still alive after that._

The thought snapped Percy out of hesitation. Whatever Nico could do to him later, Percy must save the son of Hades first. He also didn’t want to provoke his uncle Hades’ temper by letting his son die in his father’s realm at all, if the anger of a son of Hades was already terrifying, he didn’t want to find out how could Hades’ wrath be.

Percy didn’t waste any more second to shorten the distance between their lips, and he closed his eyes when his lips touched Nico’s.

It was purely mouth-to-mouth resuscitation at first. Percy desperately tried to force some air into Nico’s lungs, and so far it worked. The son of Hades was like a sack of potato in his arms before now slightly moved, and Percy’s glad that he succeeded, but didn’t stop before he could be sure that Nico had enough air for him to breathe until they reached the surface of the ocean.

But it was skin contact, and it was lips on lips, and of course with the realization that Nico di Angelo was currently sort of his object of affection, and the _la douleur something_ locked door opened because he indeed had some inside, Percy couldn’t think straight anymore when their giving-oxygen action slowly turned into a kiss.

Romantic movies made a kiss in the rain become iconic and cliché. But Percy swore it’s nothing compared to a kiss underwater.

Their skin was slightly cold because they’re deep inside the sea, the light was blurred and the water embracing their bodies softened everything in sight. Percy opened an eye and broke their skin contact for a moment, nearly gasping when two brownish black eyes were staring back at him, dazed and unfocused, glassy and strangely endearing. Nico’s cheeks flushed a light shade of pink, his lips swollen a little bit and had a darker shade of red, looking terribly enticing. His mouth quivered with a soundless question, _‘What are you doing?’_

“You need air.” Percy breathed out before leaning in and capturing his lips again. At this moment he already knew there’s nothing purely resuscitation anymore, it’s a kiss, he’s kissing Nico and it felt good. It felt too good that it made Percy want to forget everything else in this world and just kiss him senseless.

 

They stayed liked that for only Gods know how long. Percy didn’t need some break for air, he could breathe normally underwater so he kept kissing Nico again and again, craving for the hotness of their kisses, thirsty for the dizziness clouding his head, and hungrily wandering his hands all over the other’s attractive figure. He could feel Nico’s shivering under his touches, his body was trembling slightly and his hands curled into fists in front of Percy’s chest, too stiff to move so he wasn’t sure whether Nico wanted to yank him closer or push him away.

At a break between two kisses, Nico leaned away, his cheeks were red and his eyes were dazed, the black curls swirling around his head like a halo, and for a moment he looked strangely angelic. Before Percy could protest for the lack of skin contact and pull him closer, Nico leaned in, his lips were hot next to Percy’s ear, and a shiver ran down the son of Poseidon’s spine when the younger boy whispered. “Stop, Percy.”

He didn’t listen. The whisper was like the last straw that breaks the camel’s back, it broke a dam inside Percy and a strong flow of passion and raw emotions was released. He ran his fingers through the other’s hair, keeping his head at a point and leaning in to kiss him again. That kiss was hotter and more intoxicating, it made Percy shiver with all the feelings were stirring and mixing inside him, leaving him as a chaotic mess of emotions.

_La douleur exquise._

The phrase suddenly echoed in his head, and a sharp pain stung in his chest. He’s kissing Nico and it’s one of the best feelings in this world, but he also realized that he’s gone too far in their relationship. Too, too far that he didn’t believe he had any way to come back.

He’s not sure he would ever want to come back, but he _had to_ because they couldn’t stay underwater forever, and Nico can’t live with him in the ocean and just kiss him as much as he wanted for the rest of their life.

**_La douleur exquise._ **

_The heart-wrenching pain of wanting the affection of someone unattainable._

Percy let out a broken sound of desperation. So that’s how it meant.

_‘Give me your la douleur exquise, and I shall grant you the knowledge of your deepest desire.’_

It was, of course, not the scroll. It was the pain of la douleur exquise itself, the agonizing pain of realization that his deepest desire was, indeed, _la douleur exquise._ **_Unattainable._**

***

Percy was exhausted both physically and mentally when they finally reached Camp Half-Blood.

Nico didn’t say anything to him since the moment they emerged from the water, and Percy guessed he deserved it at least. He couldn’t explain more than one hour of kissing as _mouth-to-mouth resuscitation_ , because even an idiot wouldn’t buy it.

 

Chiron gave Percy a pointed look when Nico said that if the scroll actually didn’t have anything important so could he give it to Percy to burn it to ashes, but at this moment the son of Poseidon would rather never see it again, so he didn’t react anything at all.

They left the Big House in silence, and Nico only said a quiet “Take a rest, Percy.” before disappearing into a shadow in front of Cabin 3’s door, and Percy let out a heavy sigh at that. The quest did a number on him, and he wasn’t sure how much time he will need to recover from that. Maybe a month. Maybe three months. Maybe a year. Maybe more. Maybe never.

That was a depressing thought. He really needed to take a rest and stop thinking for a while.

…

Plopping down onto his bed, Percy recalled the quest in a brief summary, then his mind drifted back to some older memories, about the interactions between Nico and him. All the years the kid was there, having a crush on him, and Percy didn’t bat an eye at him. Now the crush was over, Percy started to notice the kid, and it seemed like all the ignorance and unrequited feelings he gave Nico in the past were back at him in full force.

So that’s how _la douleur exquise_ felt like. Percy clutched a hand over his chest, sighing heavily. It’s truly painful, not physically, but somehow it’s hurt even more without an actual pain.

**_It’s really too late for me to fall for you now, Nico._ **

_Because that’s my la douleur exquise._

_My feelings, my sin, my affection._

_Unattainable._

**_La douleur exquise._ **

…

**_END – June 30 th, 2018._ **

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I, basically, have no explanation for the end. It was a spike of emotions, and I just went with the flow in my head when I wrote this chapter - that's why it's longer than I planned and the plot changed at some points, too. I guess it's kinda an OE? Anyway, I honestly haven't thought about what could happen next, and I don't actually want to give that a closed ending because I like that end - it's both desperate and hopeful at the same time (at least I think so ._.)... So... I'm sorry if I make any of you feel disappointed or downhearted when nothing much happened in the end.


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